I'm usually a pretty happy 'blogger'. I usually don't cry about my woes on here, though on occasion, I have.
I want to just scream, and scream and scream right now. I'm feeling defeated on so many levels.
I pictured so much more. Why can't I be happy with the blessings that I have? Why can't I love them? and appreciate them? and count them without falling apart?
My emotions are all over the place. One moment I'm so full of gratitude, I could burst; and the next moment I'm gnashing at the bit, exploding and the tiniest infractions!
Why am I feeling like being on my knees and pouring my heart out isn't helping? Where is this light at the end of the tunnel I keep hearing about, but cannot see?
Sob, sob, boob, boob, "get over it" already, right?
5 comments:
I am so sorry Deanna! Hang in there! Keep your chin up. You are great!
You know, I haven't been where you are, but I do know how you feel and I wish that I had the best advice in the world . . . but I haven't quite figured that one out either. I haven't really perfecting living with faith and at the same time . . . longing for something different (and GOOD!). I really do believe that it is one of the great challenges of life. I truly wish I had the answer. Keep praying. I know that leaving that, doesn't "fix" anything. :)
Want to get together today? I think we should. Even though it's cloudy (and windy, and cold :) maybe we could meet at the park -- even for half an hour or so around lunch time? I'll call you!
I think that you are wonderful! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Everyone feels like you do right now at some point but only the really brave ones share. You so adequately said the things that I was feeling like last year when I was going through a rough patch (totally not comparing what I went through with you.) and totally didn't have the guts to express myself. I just wallowed in it, making myself and my family miserable!
Thanks again for sharing and reminding me its normal to feel discouraged at times!
I agree with the last comment. It takes guts to share the "not so happy" moments on a blog. But in reality, we all help eachother a little bit more when we know what is really going on. If it makes you feel even the slightest bit better to get it all out in words, then I say go for it! We all understand. I sure hope things start looking up soon. Hold on girl. You will be in my prayers today.
:( *hug* Wish I was there to give you a real hug versus this blog hug. :) love to you!
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