Happiness and Joy

For the first time, in a long time, I felt happiness and joy today.  And was humbled.  And felt beyond blessed.  I want to weep, I'm so happy.

We went to our local zoo this morning, and I'll be honest; anymore, I dread going out in public with my children.  For whatever reason, I feel scrutinized, judged, and mostly helpless as my children act like wild Indians.  I have a bad habit of reprimanding in a loud manner, because I don't want onlookers to think I'm a parent who does nothing.  I scold as if the end of the world were in a mere few hours.  The wrath of this mother is not to be mocked, toyed with, or brought out, because once it is present, it brings with it a cloud of doom and gloom and embarrassment.

So I braved the brewing storm.  I made a picnic lunch.  Loaded the stroller, sunscreen, bottles of water, searched for and found hats, matching socks to wear with shoes so boys could avoid blisters, and we buckled up for the long haul.

I had a good idea before leaving, and I might venture to say it was pure revelation.  I grabbed four quarters and two pennies, and put them in my pocket.  I explained to my crew, that they had the opportunity to earn some coins while we went on this adventure.  THEY had the choice to save it or to spend it.  It was up to them.  And it kept me sane, and them on their best behavior.  (I will come back to the coins...)

It typically takes us less than 20 minutes to observe the animals in our small and local Zoo.  However, today we spent two hours enjoying, commenting, learning, and {gasp} GETTING ALONG!!!

However, it was not without a small glitch:  While picnicking, Tanner wandered to the food-vendor's trailer, and I turned to check on Kortlen and when I looked back, Tanner was gone.  I figured he slipped around the corner, so I gave him a moment. (I am desperately trying to NOT hound him and breathe down his back every.single.second; so I wanted to give him A CHANCE to come back on his own.)  He did not return as I had anticipated, so I calmly approached an employee, and asked for the help of others to find a boy "this" tall, with blonde hair, a colorful, plaid shirt, red sneakers, and khaki shorts, in addition to his age and name.  I was not worried sick, yet.

Five nerve-wracking minutes later, he was found, "looking at a cool animal!" and "could we please go see it"...  As calmly and sternly as I could, I explained that because of his carelessness, EVERYONE had to stop what they were doing to help me find him.  I told him I was SO glad he was safe, but he needed to be reprimanded.  We live in a wicked world, and my mind always wanders to the worst case scenario.   From then on out, he was very obedient to stay by me.  Be still my heart.  It only took him six and a half years to learn that....and hopefully the lesson learned today will not need to be repeated.

We saw everything.  Even the smallest bird...and the biggest tortoise!  We walked.  We didn't run.  We didn't rush.  That is so hard for me...not to rush.  I think it was difficult for the boys, too, but we tried it, and by the end, they had the hang of it.  The key?  ENJOY.  BREATHE.  OBSERVE.  Be.STILL.

Kortlen viewing the camels, while Tanner and Taylor
 explain to us where we are on the map, and what we should see next. 

He spotted us.  We woke him from his nap.
After he stretched and yawned and showed us his big pointy teeth,
he sauntered to his man-cave to get some more shut-eye.  

This and the next two photos made me laugh...their facial expressions are awesome....
and I tried in vain to get Tanner to unbutton his top button on his collar....
I did succeed in convincing him to wear tennis shoes instead of
cowboy boots with his shorts.  :) 

Heeee-Haaaaaaw!  What are you all about, Mister?!

Who taught Kortlen how to "bawk"?  I makes me giggle
so hard I almost pee my pants.  Here's my little birdies.

Those flamingos are sure stinky!

Can you see how much fun we had?!  I was pleasantly surprised.

So as we did these simple things, they boys earned two quarters and a penny, each.  By the crocodile habitat, is a coin machine, that squishes a penny into a token.  The boys had seen it earlier, and asked if they could make a 'cool penny', and I pointed out how much it cost, and how much they had.  They were so excited when they finally earned that second quarter, and got to make their souvenir.  I was excited to let them do it.  To see them happy.  Proud of their accomplishment, and actually talking about what other things they could use their monies on, was a good parenting moment.  A proud one!

The fact they they're all STANDING STILL and being patient is so awesome.
Seriously...they were so calm...and it was so great!

Just like the sun was shining and making us warm, we felt sunny and warm fuzziness inside, and I KNOW my kids noticed it.  I thanked them for being so well behaved.  I thanked them for being such good little boys.  I told them that I would love to bring them to the zoo again!  And I'm looking forward to it.

**********

Another tender moment today:

Ryan and I had planned to go on a date.  We called one of two sitters in our new ward (apparently there are not many girls of baby-sitting age in our new neighborhood), our bishop's daughter, who is starting at BYU-Idaho in the fall.  She is a gem, and did really well.  She shared with me an exchange she and Tanner had just before he went to bed.

Tanner gave the sitter a handful of coins (probably forty-something cents) and said, "These are for you, so my mom doesn't have to pay you a lot of money."  He continued with, "Will you tell her I tried my hardest to be good?  And that I love her?  And that "Tanner" said that?".

My heart melted.  This little, sensitive, unconditionally-loving, patient, rambunctious, murmmuring, tease of a little boy I have is trying so hard.  The sitter said there was the usual sibling fighting, but that they were generally good.  And I believed her.  I know she wasn't saying it just to make me happy, or to sugar-coat the truth.

For the first time, in a long time, I am looking forward to another day of being a mother.  I'm not dreading tomorrow.  My heart is overflowing with gratitude, and humility.  Because I have the best family in the world!  We are far from perfect, but the efforts that were shown today, and the Spirit of Christ in our home, was overwhelming.  Completely overwhelming.

We didn't read our scriptures together as a family today, and we left without saying family prayers this evening, but I just picture HOW MUCH MORE AMAZING our home could be, when these simple acts of devotion are coupled with the wonderful behavior I was privileged to witness....and all I can say, is I pray with all my heart and soul, that we strive for this {Happiness & Joy} every day.

Today I saw a glimpse.  And my heart is full.  There.is.hope.

What a {Headache}

While at work today, Tanner and another girl tripped over each other and she landed on him as he hit his head pretty hard on the concrete floor.  He's a pretty dramatic kid when he wants to be, so the nursery workers didn't think to come get me right away...after an hour of him complaining that his head hurt, they finally couldn't take it anymore, and so I took my screaming 6 year old home...poor kid!

On the way, I called our pediatrician's office to talk to a nurse to see what, if anything, I could do for the poor kid.  I could tell it was really hurting him...but had to leave a message.  Upon getting home and checking our little medicine box, the Tylenol we had was WAY expired, so I called Ryan at work to see if he'd grab some on his way home, however, he had already left.

As a last resort, I texted (interesting how that's a word, yet it's not a word so I added it to spellcheck's dictionary.) my good friend, who also happens to be our pediatrician's wife, and asked what she would do given the circumstances, and the fact that I was having a hard time keeping Tanner awake, and that he was throwing up...In my mind, I was trying to decide if he'd be fine until Ryan got home, or if I should drag all the kids into the ER.  Triage.  Which would be worse?  Instead of telling me what she would do, she called her husband.  Well, that works, too. 

I watched for signs of a concussion, but his eyes weren't dilated, and I figured he just had a really bad headache.

Then, as Ryan walked in the door, our pediatrician called to tell us to get to the ER; he phoned ahead and told them we were coming...so we scooped up Tanner and I very quickly drove to the ER.  The doctor's office called me back en route, to which I replied a 'thanks, but your doctor already personally called me, and we're on our way!' then hung up so I could whip through a green left-hand turn as his speech was REALLY starting to slur and not make sense...he was in and out and his face was super pale.  WHY is the Emergency Entrance on the back side of the hospital?!

Thankfully the check-in desk has lovely mauve puke buckets, just the right color to make you want to throw up.  LOL!  So while we waited an impressive 2 minutes, and I filled out paperwork, Tanner unloaded the remnants of his lunch.  Now I was REALLY feeling bad.  And a touch uptight.

The nurse immediately asked what happened, I spilled the above story, had to call my boss' boss to confirm a timeline of when the accident actually happened (1:30 pm? and here it was almost 3:30pm?) then they popped him a Zofran.

And he slept.  and woke.  and slept and woke.

And slept. and woke.  Then got checked out by the ER doctor (my visiting teacher's dad - small world!) and then waited. and waited. and waited.  For us to get a CT scan..

Tanner was very brave, and instead of taking an hour (like the guy after him...I heard it all since the door between our room and the CT room was VERY hollow) it took all of 2 minutes!  Way to go, CHAMP!

Then we waited.  and waited.  and waited for another hour to pass by, (along with all the crazies there this afternoon...boy, there were some doosies!) till I was showed the results of the  CT scan....super cool, by the way, and I wish I would have asked to take a picture of them...he would have LOVED to see what the inside of his head looked like!

Nothing to worry about, just a strong, thick-headed little boy who's going to have a massive headache for the next week or so.  *sigh of relief!!!*

I guess we're going to lay low and take it easy.  And invest in Tylenol.  And insurance.

__________

At some point while we were waiting, and Tanner was in and out, he sat up startled and started crying, "I don't want to live anywhere else, mommy!  I want to stay with you and daddy!"  Poor kid thought I was going to leave him at the hospital!


In the car on the way there, when I was telling him that the doctor would take a picture of his brain, he looked like I had told him they were going to cut into it!!!  I had to explain how they have a big machine that can see inside his head, but it doesn't hurt...he could just think I was taking a picture of his cute smile with my camera, yadda, yadda, yadda...and he fell asleep before I finished.

I'm so glad that he's okay!!!  While this little field trip was a headache, I gained some appreciation for my rambunctious and lively little boy.

Kearns Holiday Open {Swim Meet run-down}

***Picture Heavy...FYI***

Wednesday, December 28th
Tanner has been swimming since March...that's about 9 months.  He's come so far, and can successfully (without drowning) swim across the pool several times during workouts with the team.  His coach and I decided he was ready for a few meets, so we made the Holiday Open a priority.  This is a meet I attended YEARS ago, EVERY YEAR the week following Christmas.  Good times, I'm tellin' ya!  I was excited to see fellow swimmers and also to see him swim.

Since it was just me and him, I decided to make a date of the weekend and have some fun.  We ate dinner at Crown Burger (fond memories, but greasy, too) and walked Temple Square.  We even made it to the Visitor's Center to see the Christus.

Thursday, December 29th
Keith and Tricia were gracious to let us use their spare room to sleep in, and my little brother made the best egg salad sandwiches for our lunch that I've EVER had.

Then on our way to the meet (about a 30 minute drive across to the West Side of SLC) I got a phone call from my brother, saying a certain someone had likely taken his keys and he couldn't leave for work till he had them...so in the middle of the "spaghetti bowl"/Redwood Road/I-215/I-15 (can you tell I had NO clue where I was?) I turned around and made my way back to meet him and give him his house key (he found the others in his pocket. LOL!).

Tanner was signed up to swim the 50 backstroke and the 50 free.

He was excited and so was I...he did well, for his age, and for his ability.  Our goal was to beat splits of 2:44.00, since his 25 bk was 1:22...I haven't gotten the results back yet, but his time showed up on the clock as 1:56.81!!!  Although he was last place, he was racing against boys twice his age.  I am so proud of him!

Swimmer's Feet:  Peeling and nearly Raisin-like. 

Killing time while I decide what to do for
SIX HOURS!!!

When I told his coach we'd stick around for his next event (50 free), she informed me that he was to swim it the next day...I was planning on him swimming them both the same day then heading home, as that's what the online info stated.  So, we waited around at the pool for a while, and then I got up the courage to call my mom to see if she'd watch the little kids an extra day, and to call my little brother to see if we could crash at his house one more night.  They kindly said, "yes".  So then I had to figure out what to do for the next SIX hours, till Keith and his wife got home from work.

We settled on going to see Keith at work to pick up the house key we returned earlier.  Doh.  Then making a day of it at Thanksgiving Point.  (Now that I think about it, we could have got to Cabella's and watched the fish for FREE!  Another "Doh"!)

Regardless of our many options, Tanner really enjoyed the Museum of Ancient History with dinosaurs and 'cool stuff', as well as the Art Institute where we watched glass being blown and saw beautiful Stained Glass windows being constructed.

After 3 hours of that fun, I decided we should head back to Keith &; Tricia's to take naps and just relax.  On our way there, we ventured into IKEA.  That was a mistake!  I thought we'd just "go in and see what they had", but was forced by their marketing gurus to take a tour of the entire place...now I NEVER have to go back.  Talk about OVERWHELMING!!!  And EXHAUSTING.

Friday, December 30th
We woke up early and headed  back to the pool.  Long story short, Tanner didn't want to swim.  And Coach Denise wasn't going to 'make' him.  However, he DID decide to jump in after the other boys were about half way across the pool...

...and finished after a painfully embarrassing 2:33.20.  Um....yeah.  We won't be doing another swim meet till he's more proficient in the water.  Like maybe next October.

Needless to say, we were both so upset at each other, we drove straight from Kearns to Chesterfield in silence (without naps!  Just pure tension and silence.)  I'm not even joking.

After a quiet and contemplative drive to my parents', I loaded the car with Christmas Goodies, buckled in the boys and headed home.

Lesson to be learned:  Get over it and don't reminisce in the glory days through a stubborn six year old.  Time to move on.  

__________

Thank you to my mom and sisters and brothers for keeping tabs on Kortlen and Taylor.  Apparently they were 'delightful' and Kortlen 'lost' his binky, so I don't have to worry about it anymore.  YAY!  And thank you to Keith and Tricia for putting up with us two nights in a row.

Field Trip

On Thursday we took the boys on a little field trip.  I, of course fell asleep in the car on our 20 minute drive, but it was well worth it to wake up to join my boys on our little jaunt through Hell's Half Acre.  Ryan had apparently taken them a few times while I was working, but I've never been past the women's restroom facility...

Just because it's summer time doesn't mean that we have to quit learning!!!  

In fact, we've learned A LOT this summer.  This day was no exception.

We learned things...

...like not to run and trip next to cement walls...taking a few layers of skin off results in ugly scabs that don't get sun like the rest of your face...

And to smile big for mom so she doesn't have to take a million pictures...I have about 12 of these shots!

We learned all about the geological features in our little neck of the woods.  The boys loved stopping at EVERY sign, asking Daddy to read it, then would skip forward to the next sign about halfway through...

And that we needed to stay on the trail...We played the game "Snake".  Whenever daddy would say "Snake", EVERYONE had to STOP in their tracks, should there be a rattler or something of the sort nearby.  It was good practice for being out in the 'wilderness' with rattlers and not moving so they couldn't sense our presence.  (It's their new favorite game!)

We learned about volcanoes and rocks and plants...and why there is Lichen on the rocks, and where the animals find food, and sleep...not to mention how the rock formations came to be.

There were two options to the trail:  the short loop, or the long loop...we took the long loop, and LOVED IT!  The trail was completely paved, was easily accessible to strollers, wheel chairs, and running boys.

We saw various forms of life that were thriving in the 'lava dust' as Tanner called it...These Prickly Pears were sure fun to spot out.  I never realized that they're native to our area!  I always thought they were only in the plan isle at WalMart or in St. George...Go figure. We live in a desert and I had forgotten that snipit of information.

The rock formations were quite the sight!  Here is a bridge of sorts on either side of big creator like formations; holes, more or less.

More of the same...Taylor pointed out every pretty purple flower, and wanted a picture of some...we saw lots of them, including sage brush, cedars, and different grasses.

And this little guy was snug as a bug in a rug...well, warm in a blanket...not a rug. Kortlen was such a trooper!

These are two of the three buttes that were visible that day.  They aren't actual volcanoes, just molten lava that was pushed through the Earth's crust.  Who knew Mother Earth had pimples!  I feel better about myself now.  :)

Instead of regurgitating this vital information back to you, click on the picture to open it in a new window and read for yourself!  Or just go for a drive.

A giant 'crack' that had Tanner and Taylor 'oohing' and 'aaahing'.  It was pretty impressive!

I don't remember if this is Putnam or Taylor Mountain in the distance, but regardless, Tanner let us all know (and I quote), "When I die and you're all still alive, I want you to walk up to the very tip-top of Taylor Mountain to bury me.  Wouldn't that be cool to have your "Big Brother Tanner" (he talks in 3rd person all.the.time.) buried on your mountain, Taylor?"  Ryan and I just looked at each other as Tanner proceeded to lay out his funeral arrangements...and then we laughed...and then we looked at each other wondering if he knew something we didn't...

If you're ever needing a break while driving through Blackfoot, stop at the rest stop just North of Blackfoot (the South-bound stop) and take a little jaunt through nature's beautiful views!

It was a great field trip for our 3 and 5 ( and almost 1!) year old...you could do so much with this neat little outing...It was a change of pace and scenery, from the tv, computer, and ghetto block we live on.  I'd almost be willing to do some personal research to teach the boys a bit more the next time we're down that way!

Enjoy!