Alright - I'm desparately needing some tips and tricks...the kind that might work out for us in the long run...for sleep, biting, and not minding.
Issue #1: Sleeping, or rather, a lack thereof. You see, since Taylor was born, Tanner is having a very difficult time falling asleep on his own, unless we take him for a ride in the car...He sleeps great once he's in his bed, he doesn't roll out, and for the most part sleeps until 6 or 7 in the morning. (He doesn't even wake up when Taylor cries to eat at 4am) However, it's getting him to sleep...We've tried everything from routine (we're still doing the bath, brush teeth, stories, prayers, get into bed; same time each night), to benadryl, to taking naps away, to shortening naps, to playing primary songs to waking him up earlier...In a perfect world I would dare say, "keep doing the routine, lay on his floor, walk him back to bed..." etc... How have you gotten your kids to go to sleep? We've been driving everyday for two months for naps and for bed-time...He has a lot of energy, and I do my best to get him to use it during the day, but we're really struggling. The driving thing works, but it's expensive, sometimes dangerous with the recent weather, and I don't feel right about having to drive him or 'drug' him twice a day.
Issue #2: Biting...friends, us, etc. We thought this was just a 'teething' thing, where Tanner needed to clamp down on something, but it's escalating...I've tried time-outs, biting him back, making him bite his own hand, and talking - "We don't bite, please don't bite, biting hurts, owie" etc. I'm going to try hot sauce or something that tastes nasty (soap?) today. I don't know...My guess is he's doing it for attention, and it seems like I give him all the attention in the world except for when I'm nursing Taylor, and we're still struggling...
Issue #3: Selective Hearing? Already? I can handle no response to, "time to pick up toys", but when it comes to safety, "Please don't climb on the counter" (we fold up the chairs inbetween meals now) or "Stop! Don't go in the street! Stay by the car, hold my hand (in a parking lot)", etc...Are his ears painted on? How have some of you taught your children to listen to you, especially in a dangerous situation?
I am completely open to any and all suggestions...
12 comments:
Well, first off I am NO expert, but I can say that I have been there and done that to ALL of your issues. We have SERIOUS sleep issues at this house and we finally resorted to turning on the t.v. (even moving one into Carter's room) and letting them watch until they fell asleep. Works for us. And I think you should still shorten the nap to only 45 minutes to an hour. (I really promise it will get better.)
Biting ---arghhh....Halle was our biter and she's still our most ferocious when it comes to battle. (In fact, she got kicked out of nursery for being too mean.)I bit her back a couple of times, and washed her mouth with soap, but I don't know that it did anything honestly. It's really just time.
Selective hearing? Have you seen the posts from my house???!! (Actually I think it just takes consistency and picking your battles.) Good luck with everything, you're doing great!
We end up walking Peter back to bed about twenty times a night and shut his door for a few minutes when he gets out. Some nights he actually fall asleep with only getting out a couple of times.
No advice....just encouragment! Remember that you are never a failure! Every child and parenting experience is different! Good luck! p.s. have you tried duct taping him to the bed? :)
Unfortuntly, I almost want to say that issue #1 is what two year old's do! Parker has always been a great sleeper, but since he had his birthday, it seems like a constant battle trying to get him to take naps! He's great about bedtime, only once in a while will he actually get up, and at that, it's only a couple of times. I also think i am more patient because it is the end of the day! But, what I do know is this...Sleep Begets Sleep. The better/more naps that they get, the better/more they will sleep. What time do you put him to bed at night? I know that there is a "window" in which you have to get it just right. Too early, and they won't fall asleep. Too late, and they are overly tired, and won't sleep. There is a happy medium. But really, I am NO expert by any means. Have you read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."??? Very good. Ummm....As for the biting..I think I am going to have a problem with Preston...he likes to chomp on everything..including the chair legs at church. No advice there. Might need some in a couple of months though....:)
I'm know you are doing great though! ...once again...he is two! But, my doctor did say that "the terrible two's" peak between 18 months to 2 1/2 years. (cross my fingers)
I don't know what to say other than, wow, what a challenging time for you. I am afraid Carson is going to act the same way when our new little guy is born. Carson will be just two months shy of 3 and I am sure he is going to take it hard not being an only child anymore. Hang in there...eventually he'll adjust. Its just having the patience to get from here to there. I know, easier said than done, especially when you just want to scream from frustration. Maybe you can share some tips with me when I get to that point.
Also, we've been having sleep problems with Carson too. He has decided that he is too big for naps, but then is too tired at bedtime and just gets way fussy. We put him in bed at 8:30 the other night and he screamed until 11:00! He kept saying that he wanted water and then he'd spill it on his floor and then cry more because his water was gone. I know how you feel about the driving thing...we had to do that for a while because nothing else would work. Does he have a favorite stuffed animal? Carson has this stuffed bear that he loves and sometimes we tell him that his bear is really tired and needs someone to lay by him so he can go to sleep. Sometimes it works and it also makes him feel like he is a big boy because he is helping his bear. I guess you could try it. There is also the lock them in their room and ignore the screaming, but that has never worked for us!
Oh we are suckers - we drove him to sleep tonight...My mom says supernanny says to just quietly walk them back to bed a million times...Like Alisha said...Even if we shut the door and take all toys and books and anything throwable out, he kicks his feet on the door. Are you serious about the duct tape? :) It's on my list of things to try next - but with packing tape :) My neighbor suggested putting the harness on and attaching that to the headboard, but that probably a strangulation hazard. I have to agree - LOTS and LOTS of patience. Thank you so much for your advice, thoughts, and what you've done for your children...I will try, Try, TRY...and let you know how it goes down (or how I go down:) ) I'll also try shortening the naps a bit - these suggestions are all pretty reasonable, and I'll check into that book...I'll have to think on the tape, though!
Hey! Been there, we understand . . . still there! As far a listening, you find anything that works and you let us know! Trust me, they hear you, they hear EVERYTHING, but you'll probably be dealing with that for years.
As far as sleeping, I would also suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It really is a good and helpful book. My one suggestion, stick him in his room and let him scream (or kick - which is also what we get to deal with at our house) it out. We lock the door and leave them in there with no way of turning the light on and let them sleep when they sleep. I've also found soap in the mouth to be effective. Just the smallest bit of liquid soap on your finger. - For things like kicking the door or biting. You do it enough times and they'll eventually get the point. -I can understand why your fed up with driving - expensive and it's not teaching him to put himself to sleep.
Just keep going - let us know how it goes!
Also, I promise you that you are NOT failing. If that's the case, we're all failures! This is just part of the ride! Oh, I know, here's some words of encouragement: When this is over, it will be something else! :) LOL Buck up little camper! :)
Oh my goodness! We are experiencing the exact same things, basically! I wish I had more advice, but I'm trying everything I can think of, too. It's frustrating! Tyler is our non-sleeper. He's taken almost 2 hours to get to sleep many times, but he's just gotten better recently. Just be consistent and firm, and eventually he'll get better. Same with biting. We stick Tyler in time out when he does it. He's also finally getting better with that. I bit him back a few times, but it didn't seem to work. I heard that it's not recommended. Anyway, it's relieving to know somebody else is going through the same things I am. I guess I'm not the worst parent and don't have an impossible child. It's just what two-year-olds do, I guess! Stay strong and consistent! It'll get better!
ISSUE #1: Lack of sleeping;
What we do, I learned from watching I think it was Nanny something. . . Do the full routine. That's great. And for us, the limit is the bedroom door. We allow our children to roam around their room, play with their toys, read their books all they want. Just so long as they stay in their room. Once they cross the threshold, we will "put them to bed" nicely: talking, holding hand, tuck in bed, hug & kiss, ect. TWICE only two more times. Then, after that, when they get out of the room, we will firmly, BUT NOT ANGRILY walk them back to their bed, and put them in bed. NO CONVERSATION NEEDED! No hug, no kiss, no water, no talking. And then leave. We will continue this, all night, each night until they learn, "When we put you to bed, you must remain in your room." And eventually, when he's tired, James will lie in bed and wait for Mr. Sandman to come. Katelyn learned it real quick, and reads in bed. The main bedroom light is off. They have a nightlite, and I'll leave the hall light on for Katelyn to read by. SHE stays in her room. HE is still learning. But we haven't been as consistant with him as we did with her when she was that age. He is also a lot more lively than she ever was at this age. . .
Consistancy is the key. And know, the first week is going to be crazy. You may be walking him back to his bed for up to 2 or 3 hours. But he will catch on. I think he is just so used to you putting him to sleep, he's almost dependent upon it, and that's why there is so much trouble.
For "nap time" I call it "Quiet Time" in that, I don't care WHAT they do, so long as they are quiet and in their rooms. That takes practice, too. I say quiet time is 90 minutes. If they had not fallen asleep within that 90 minutes time period, that's fine. If they do, I'll let them sleep. . . depending on what time it is and how it cooresponds to dinner time. But use the same method as bed time. Just allow the routine to change a little. ie. quiet time, I read a book or two, snuggle a little & rock. Bed time is brush teeth, prayers. ect.ect.ect. Keep practicing. It will pan out eventually. Remember, the first while is going to be the most difficult when it comes to change!
ISSUE #2: James still bites Katelyn on occasion. We take his hand in ours, make him look at us and say VERY FIRMLY, "NO BITTING." Then I would suggest to offer them a different method of expressing how they feel at the time. Perhaps a bit mature, but if you keep it simple, they will catch on. James's biting has really decreased since we've done this, but he will slip ocassionally. . .
On the "attention" thing, perhaps he's not receiving the attention he's looking for. Each child responds differently to different attention. Referr to "The Five Love Languages." Love that book!
ISSUE #3: Selective Hearing. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I just figure my kids have heard my voice all day long, they've just learned to tune me out! LOL
Okay, so I've written a novel. Sorry. Hope the suggestions help. Someone.
Stay firm. Be consistant. Don't give in. And good luck! Nick reminds me (quoted from "Night at the Museum") "Who's evolved?" "I am." It's tough. But you can do it! Good luck. It's a learning process for both child and parent. When you're about to give in, just think, "Who is training WHO here?" GOOD LUCK! :-D
Thank you,all for your comments - and I don't mind reading novels - whatever needs to be said, I'm happy to read it. Thank you, Lisa, for reminding me "who is training who" - We pretty much just need to get a backbone and some patience. Thanks again!
Post a Comment