If I only had a brain

Dummm-di-duh-duh-dum-di-deeee-dummm...

• Ryan has class at the same time I teach a class so we 'hired' a girl in our ward to watch the boys for one hour on Wednesdays.
• So I can take her home, Ryan switches cars (the one with the carseats) on his way to class in Pocatello as I'm teaching.
• After my class tonight I speed home, take the sitter home, and swing by work to pick up my clothes and makeup bag I had forgotten in my rush to pick up the sitter...I had my weight lifting class before and after two classes at a local high school, had to change my clothes at work to make my appointments.
• I park at the front door of the building.
• As I'm getting out of the car, Tanner yells out, "Too Dark! Turn the car back on!"
• I re-start car and flip on the dome light.
• I then exit the car while simultaneously locking the doors, twice, so nobody runs off with my children inside and shut the door, hard.
• Run up a flight of stairs to my office, grab said bag of clothes.
• Return to my car.
• Remember that I LOCKED THE CAR WITH MY CHILDREN INSIDE AND I HAVE NO KEYS BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE IGNITION!!!!!

Begin humming the tune that Scarcrow sings and skips to on the Wizard of Oz, "If I only had a brain".

• I then think on my toes, with my head on straight, and bribe Tanner with a stack of cookies I had grabbed inside (the yummy Loft House kind with thick sugary frosting and heart sprinkles) to TAKE OFF HIS SEATBELT (usually we're bribing him to leave it on!)
• He complies, but can't get one of fifty harnessess undone, so he's still trapped in his carseat & frustrated his cookie is on the other side of the window.
• Tanner can reach the door handle, but we have the door on child lock for that very reason.
• Tanner can also reach the window roll-down button, but the windows are on a lock for the SAME reason.
• I return to the hall closet in the building and retrieve a wire hanger, dead set on getting into my car.
• Didn't work.
• After having a coworker come look at the situation and not being able to do anything, I resolve to make a phone call.
• I called 911.
• The dispatcher probably thought I was crazy, calm, but crazy, and said she'd send someone over.
• A nice officer showed up, said, "Yup! They're locked in there good. We've called a locksmith. They won't charge you because your kids are in the car."
• I made some funny joke that went something like this, "Well, I guess if you want some attention and a locksmith to unlock your doors for free you'd better make sure your kids are in the car!"
• He didn't find it amussing.
• I was just trying not to loose it.
• Apparently I already had, because a mother must entertain her children and cease the crying by dancing obnoxiously and rapping on the windows.
• There was a Cattlemen's Association Meeting at the building beginning, so 20 or so cowboys and their wives got a free show and entertainment on their way to a mid-evening nap.
• About 45 minutes later, a Locksmith roars into the parking lot in a huge van, jumps out in a suit and says, "excuse me", uses this little wedge thing, and a really long tongue depressor and in less than four seconds has the door open and is walking away.
• I thank him, offer to pay, he just says, "Have a good night, ma'am" (Am I a ma'am?) and roars out of the parking lot.
• Officer ____ (I didn't even think to ask his name.) leaves, and I get home 50 minutes later than anticipated.

Note to self: Never lock your keys in the car, with or without children, when your husband is an hour away with the spare.

Note to self: Next time, call Tiffany, who is the landlord and lives downstairs, to go to your apartment, get another spare key hanging on the calender board, and bring it to you, 6 blocks away from your nice, comfy home.

Note to self: Thinking ahead will spare you an hour of freezing in the cold, dancing for random people, and feeling like you HAVE NO BRAIN!