Did you ever WONDER...

If you're like me, you laugh so hard you cry (still haven't figured that one out), but hopefully you'll have emptied your bladder before reading this. My little sister (not so little anymore - she's graduating from HS in less than a month! AAAHHH!) sent this hilarious list of WHY?s and WHAT?s and HUHH?s to me. Some are better than others, but hey - we're all in need of a good laugh sometimes, especially when we've had a long day, and are prolonging our own bedtime. :)

• Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
• Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly! One of my favorites, being a competative swimmer in my younger years...the shallow part of the pool is a no-man's land...especially at evening workouts!)
• OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
• If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
• If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
• Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
• Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
• Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks? (this is where I lost it!)
• Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailcarriers can look for them while they deliver the mail?
• Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
• If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
• Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
• At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells…'THEIRS'?

Thanks for amusing me by reading.